Cam 14 / test 3 / task2 - Revision

              Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

 

Music has an effect that bonds people across the world. Although #there is some controversy whether or not music is actually beneficial for uniting people across barriers such as age or tradition, I firmly believe that music can bond people of different ages from all around the world. In this essay, I will elaborate this argument on the side of the agreement with the statement that the music have a siginificant role on bonding.

 

*The significiant effect of musical sounds --- awkward. Use music

*Don't be too obsessed with the template

 

#There + be + 주어 동사 = 무언가의 존재를 처음 알려주는 표현이므로 

1. 정관사 the가 붙은 명사 (There be ~다음에 못옴!)

2. 고유명사나 대명사

3. 지시적 한정사 (this, that, these, those)나 소유격 대명사의 제한을 받는 명사구

4. 전(全)칭을 나타내는 all, each, every가 이끄는 명사구

 

CONTROVERSY는 추상명사 여서 is some controversy 가 가능하지만!

이 추상명사에 a/an( 윤곽을 나타내어주는)을 붙여서  (시작과 끝의) 한계를 표시해줄수 있다고 하네요.

 

예를 들어, nap,push, break 등은 동작동사에서온 명사( 불가산 명사)인데, 다음과 같이 사용합니다.

take a nap(한숨자자) / give me a push(한번만 밀어주세요) / have a short break (한숨돌리다)

즉, 잠시한숨자는것, 한번 밀어주는것,  한숨돌리는것은 시작과 끝이 있는 (동사의 윤곽이 있는) 모습을 떠올리수가 있는것이지요(보통명사)

보통 불가산명사 such as NEWS a는 안 붙는다

kin.naver.com/qna/detail.nhn?d1id=11&dirId=11080302&docId=217549533&qb=Y29udHJvdmVyc3kg67aI6rCA7IKw66qF7IKs&enc=utf8&section=kin&rank=1&search_sort=0&spq=0

arouse controversy 와 settle a controversy 에서 관사는 왜 있고 없나요...

It is evident that music has substantial power that connects people in our society today. For example, there are numerous musical festivals throughout the world that engage foreigners. In Korea, especially *during the warmer seasons, several big corporations arrange electric dance music festivals that a number of foreigners of all ages *attend. This proves the bonding effect of music.

*historically means literally ages ago
*korean summer session is weird. Use either warmer seasons or during the summers
*especially during the summer*
*summer is a season so it becomes redundant

*join / attend

*domestic international sounds like an airport - you can say Korean and international DJs

Furthermore, there is an undeniable fact that a majority of people have an interest in exotic music tastes unlike their traditional music. People who have an inquisitive mind and passion for learning tend to acquire other culture’s music. Specifically, in Korea, there were some musical instruments which had not existed in the past decades. However, through imports from Europe, Korea has been introduced to instruments such as *violin and piano. Now, people from across the world has access to a variety of instruments from diverse origins. Music has a mysterious way of gathering people and stimulating desire for unfamiliar sounds.

 

*Can skip 'The' instruments

To sum up, there are two evident reasons for agreeing with the statement that music unites people across the world and across different age brackets. Music illustrates *the obvious fact that a diverse group of people can enjoy and bond during music festivals. Secondly, imports of exotic instruments allow people of all cultures and ages to appreciate music from other countries. 

 

*Obvious evidence - obvious fact