Cambridge 14 / test 3 / task 2 (agree/disagree)

              Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

 

The significiant effect of musical sounds (or sound?) has been spread across the world although there is a controversy whether the acoustic sounds are one of beneficial ways to considerably contribute to people regardless of tranditions and age for bonding. In this essay, I will elaborate this argument as a supporter who strongly agress this statement. 

 

*spread-spread-spread 

*benefisial → beneficial

 

Q. a sound 와 sounds 중 무엇을 써야할까?

 

<The significiant effect of musical sounds has been spread across the world. Although there is a controversy on acoustic sounds whether it is beneficial for uniting people regardless of custom and age group. In this essay, I will elaborate this argument *on the side of the agreement with the statement that acoustic sounds have a siginificant role on bonding.>

 

*on the side of / in favour of 

 

It is an obvious fact that music has a substantial power which let a variety of people united in this society. Historically, there are numerous music festivals held every year throughout the world which a number of diverse people including international people *join. For instance, in Korea, espeically summer season, an arrange of electric dance music festivals supported by several big *corporations has been opened. In this festivals, It is easily seen that a diversity of attendants who have their own practice with a wide age level from other countries. Thus, this has proved the impact of the music.

 

*participate in / take part in

*an arrange → a range of (다양한) / the range of (~ 범위의)

*coperations → corporations

corporations / firms / compaines / enterprises / business 

 

내용 변경: 대기업이 지원하는것 보다 국제적인 Dj를 넣는 것이 나을 듯하다.

 

<There is an obvious evidence that music has a substantial power to *associate with a variety of people in this society. Historically, there are numerous music festivals held every year throughout the world where all the people getting along is easily observed. For instance, every *korean summer season, a range of electric dance music festivals where the mix of domestic and international Djs perform *takes place. A number of local residents and foreigners with exotic traditions in a wide range of age bracket participate in to enjoy the exciting music together. Thus, It proves how the music leads to the bond with people.>

 

*unite / bond /associate with

*(나라, 민족 대문자로 시작) 

*take place / open / be held  v. 개최하다

 

 

Furthermore, It is apparent that a majority of citizens have an interest for some exotic sound by musical instruments which is relatively strange unlike their own tradtional ones. This desire that they eager to learn becomes a stimulus and makes them try ( spend their effort on acquiring other countries' music) to learn other cultures' music to be connected with them. To be specific (specifically), there are some musical instruments which were not existsed in Kroea 5 decades ago. However, some people went oversea and came across the instruments which produces a tempting sound such as sthe violin and piano. Thanks to their inquisitive mind, nowadays, any people could be easily accessible to those acoustic instruments. Therefore, music delivers a mysterious effect on people by motivating their desire and letting them together.

 

<Furthermore, there is an undeniable fact that a majority of people have an interest on exotic music which contradicts to their own traditional music. This phenomenon causes peoplee who have a inquisitive mind and passion for learning to aquire other culture's music. To be specific, in Korea, there were some musical instruments which had not existed in the past decades. However, since new instruments such as the violin and piano producing an attractive sound has been introduced by import, a diversity of people are easily accessible to those instruments regardless of age group. Therefore, music has a mysterious effect to gather people inevitably by stimulating the human desire for other types of strange music>

 

<To sum up, there are two evident views for highly agreeing with the statement that describes the efficient method which unites the people across the world is music. Firstly, it illustrates the obvious fact that a diversity of people join the music festivals to enjoy althogether and feel bonding. Secondly, it depicts that the exotic instruments arouse a desire of people and make them feel impressive for music from other cultures.>

 

 

Additional words I learnt 

age group (bracket): n. 연령층

custom: n. 관습, 풍습 / practices: n. 관례,  / traditions / cultures